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A Simple Plan/Transcript
Transcript for A Simple Plan Narrator: The evil Dr. Two-Brains and his henchmen are about to return from a long day of crime-doing. (Scene: Two-Brains’ lair. The three of them are carrying large boxes, and boxes are also scattered throughout the lair. They drop their boxes.) Dr. Two-Brains: Ah, that was a long day of crime… doing. Narrator: Told you. Henchman 1: Uh, boss? Why did we have to do all that stuff again? (Two-Brains stands in front of his chalkboard.) Dr. Two-Brains: How many times do I have to explain it? First, we had to use the anti-gravity ray to fire all those cotton balls in the air, so that when--- (He goes on for a while with his explanation.) Dr. Two-Brains: ... We could then use the super-gravity ray to roll these bowling ball down to… (He talks more.) Dr. Two-Brains: ...knock down the door to the bat house, causing the bats to fly out and distract the guards, and grab the largest string cheese rope in captivity! Henchman 1: (scratching his head) Oh. Narrator: Kind of complicated, don’t you think? Dr. Two-Brains: Yeah yeah yeah, no one asked you, Mr. Nosey-pants. It’ll all be worth it when I get a look at all that beautiful stringy cheese! Henchmen! Open the box! (They use a crowbar to open the box, and look inside. Two-Brains’ expression turns to shock when he sees there is only a small amount of cheese at the bottom.) Dr. Two-Brains: That’s all we got?! Henchman 1: Oh... (Flashback to the two henchmen sitting in the back of the truck, eating the string cheese.) Henchman 1: Sorry, boss. Dr. Two-Brains: (sighs) What am I doing wrong? Don’t answer that! Oh… maybe my evil plans ARE getting too complicated. I remember the days when we would just walk into a grocery store and steal some cheese. Life was easier then. Henchman 1: Uh, actually Boss, that was before you hired us. Dr. Two-Brains: That’s right! Back then, my plans weren’t so complicated, and I didn’t need you. No offense. Henchman 1: None taken. Dr. Two-Brains: That’s it! I’m going back to basics, back to my roots! I’m keepin’ it real. I, Dr. Two-Brains, will steal cheese by committing the most simple, un'complicated' crimes of all time! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Narrator: The next day, an unsuspecting Becky Botsford, aka WordGirl, is working on a project of her own. (Scene: Outside the Botsford house. Becky is carrying a box, and she and Bob walk toward a table that has been set up in the front yard. They sit down at the table, and Becky looks at a catalog.) Becky: Okay, Bob. Looks like we have to sell 1300 lucky goblin dolls for the school fundraiser in order to have enough points to get this-- the Princess Sparkles the Unicorn bug bite kit! And getting it will be a cinch. All we have to do is sell these-- the cutest little lucky goblin dolls ever! (She holds up a grotesque doll with three eyes, sharp teeth, lobster claw hands and octopus legs. Huggy cowers in fear at the sight of it.) Becky: Aren’t they adorable? (Huggy chatters no, with his tongue hanging out.) Becky: Fine, they’re hideous. But, I know we can do this! All we need is a positive attitude. Lucky goblins for sale! Get your lucky goblin here! (A car pulls up. The driver looks over at the goblin, then screams and pulls away. Her dad comes out to check on her.) Mr. Botsford: Hi, honey! What you doin’? Becky: (yelling) Just selling-- (pauses, turns toward her dad) --Um, I’m raising money for school. Mr. Botsford: Oh, fantastic! What are you selling? I could sure go for some lemonade, or-- (She holds a goblin up in front of him.) Mr. Botsford: Ahh! Ahh! Becky: Lucky goblin dolls. Mr. Botsford: Ohh! Ohh. Sweetheart, that’s the most, um, what’s the word? When something is really, really ugly and revolting? Becky: Hideous? It means frightful, awful to look at. Mr. Botsford: That’s it exactly. That’s the most hideous doll I’ve ever seen! Becky: Hideous'''ly cute, right? '''Mr. Botsford: Oh, no. Not cute at all. Not even a little. Becky: But don’t you want me to reach my fundraising goals for school, Daddy? Mr. Botsford: Laying it on a bit thick there, hun. But tell you what. I’ll pay you to not have to take one! Becky: Deal. Mr. Botsford: Oh good. Exposition Guy: He-e-elp! Someone’s robbing cheese from the grocery store! (Becky gasps.) Exposition Guy: Wait-- is this the police station? Mr. Botsford: No, it’s my daughter’s goblin-selling stand. Becky: That’s right! I’m selling these adorable lucky goblin dolls. Would you like to buy one-- (She holds up a doll in front of him, and he cowers from it.) Exposition Guy: A-a-a-ahh! He-e-elp! (runs off) Becky: Alright, they’re hideous, I get it. Mr. Botsford: I’m not sure you do. Becky: Uhh, listen Dad, Bob and I are gonna walk around town and try to sell some of these dolls. Come on, Bob. Mr. Botsford: Wait! You’re not going to take any of them with you? Becky: Oh! Uh… right. Probably-- should take some. Mr. Botsford: No, no, I think that’s brilliant! Don’t show people the dolls until after they’ve bought them. Becky: Right! Uh, thanks Dad. Let’s go, Bob! Narrator: Meanwhile, at the grocery store… (Scene: Inside the store. The grocery store manager is standing behind a counter of cheese, and Two-Brains and the henchmen are beside him.) Grocery Store Manager: That cheddar is the best that money could buy! Dr. Two-Brains: I’m stealing it. Grocery Store Manager: Then, it’s the best that money could steal! Dr. Two-Brains: Thanks. And now for the finale of my oh-so-simple scheme. (WordGirl and Huggy arrive.) WordGirl: Wait just a minute, Dr. Two-Brains! Dr. Two-Brains: You’re too late, WordGirl! Wa-ha-ha! Prepare yourself for defeat! WordGirl: Go ahead! I dare you to make your move! (Two-Brains eat the cheese is holding.) Dr. Two-Brains: I already did! Ha-ha! You lose! WordGirl: What? Where? Dr. Two-Brains: Right here! I didn’t pay for this cheese, and yet I ate it right in front of you! Ha! Take that! WordGirl: No, really, what’s the real scheme? Dr. Two-Brains: That was it! Oh, also I’m taking some cheese with me when I leave. Ha-ha! Also a crime! Cri-i-i-ime! WordGirl: So… no ray blasters or mouse-shaped contraptions or complicated plans of any kind? Dr. Two-Brains: No. WordGirl: Just-- Dr. Two-Brains: Walking in. WordGirl: And...? Dr. Two-Brains: Takin’ cheese. WordGirl: Huh. Great! Takin’ you down just got a whole lot easier! Dr. Two-Brains: Holy cow, what is that thing behind you? (WordGirl and Huggy turn around.) WordGirl: What? Where? I knew you had a bigger-- (Two-Brains and the henchman sneak off.) WordGirl: --scheme. That was embarrassing. Grocery Store Manager: I’ll say. WordGirl: He fooled me, okay? I thought his plan would be more complicated. Grocery Store Manager: Complicated? WordGirl: Uh, complicated means difficult, complex, the exact opposite of simple. Uh, like that display that woman is putting up. Is that easy? Grocery Store Manager. Why, no. Actually, it’s quite-- (The woman falls, and boxes of Snappy Snaps fly everywhere.) Grocery Store Manager: --'complicated'. WordGirl: Right. Now if you’ll excuse us, Huggy and I have to try and figure out where Two-Brains will strike next. Grocery Store Manager: Looks like he’s heading to the cheese shop across the street. WordGirl: You’re kidding. Grocery Store Manager: Nope. (WordGirl takes off with Huggy.) Narrator: Milliseconds later, at the cheese shop across the street… (Two-Brains is holding some cheese. WordGirl taps him on the shoulder.) WordGirl: (in a disinterested tone) Hold it right there, Two-Brains. Dr. Two-Brains: Oh hi, WordGirl. You’re just in time to see me commit another un'complicated' crime, right before your very eyes! Are you ready? Prepare to be dazzled. (He eats the last of the cheese he is holding.) Oh, yeah! Take that! Oh, I’m so bad! Whoaa! WordGirl: Let’s just wrap this up quickly, okay? (looks behind her) Nothing there. Okay, that trick’s not going to work again, so Two-Brains, prepare to-- OW! Hey! Quit it! (The henchmen throw blocks of cheese at her, then they leave with Two-Brains.) WordGirl: Did they just escape by throwing cheese at us? (Scene: Two-Brains’ hideout. He is pacing around his cheese storage room, which is empty.) Henchman 1: Uh, everything okay boss? Dr. Two-Brains: (speaking as mouse brain) N-not enough cheese for mouse brain-- mouse brain wants more! (speaking as Two-Brains) O-o-okay, we’ll keep stealing little amounts of cheese. But we’ll do it a lot more often! Is that okay with you, mouse brain? (sees a newspaper) What is this? Tomorrow, the mayor is going to dip a giant tortilla chip into a stadium full of cheese. (mouse brain comes out again) And really, how complicated could it BE to steal a stadium full of cheese? (The henchman look at each other with stunned faces.) Narrator: Meanwhile, back at the hideous lucky goblin stand… (Scene: In front of the Botsford house. Becky and Bob are sitting at the table with the goblins lined up.) Becky: Hey! Narrator: I tell it like it is. Becky: Ah, I’m never gonna get my Princess Sparkles the Unicorn bug bite kit! (Bob chatters.) Becky: You’re right, Bob. We’ve got to focus on Two-Brains. But how will we ever find him? (Two-Brains pulls up in his van. He looks over at the goblin dolls with a smile on his face.) Becky: Dr. Two-Brains? Dr. Two-Brains: How do you know my name? Becky: Uh… everyone knows your name? Dr. Two-Brains: They do? Oh-ho-ho, well that’s nice to hear. Becky: Yeah. So, what are you doing here? Dr. Two-Brains: Well, I couldn’t help but notice that you were selling these hideous dolls. How much? Becky: First of all, they’re not hideous, they’re hideous'''ly cute! Second of all, why do you want one? '''Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, no reason. (Bob chatters.) Becky: I know, it feels so wrong. But, it’s our first sale! And I really need the Princess Sparkles the Unicorn bug bite kit! (Bob chatters again.) Becky: No, no, yeah I know, you’re right, Bob, you’re right. It wouldn’t be right to sell him a doll. Dr. Two-Brains: Actually, I’ll take all of them. Becky: Can I help you carry them to your van? (Scene: A little later, back at Two-Brains’ lair. He is standing in front of his blackboard.) Dr. Two-Brains: You see,henchmen, it’s just a simple four-step plan. We use the goblins to distract the guards. Then we drive into the stadium, drain the cheese into these giant containers, and drive away. Henchman 1: But how are we gonna get the goblins up to the guards? Dr. Two-Brains: Right. Uh… okay! (draws on the board) Five-step plan! We’ll put them on a cart, and roll them past the guards. What guard wouldn’t be distracted by a cart full of hideous goblins? Hmm? Heh-heh-heh! (Charlie whispers something.) Henchman 1: Right. Charlie says that the guard stations at the stadium are all uphill! How will we get the cart to roll up the hill? Dr. Two-Brains: Uh… that’s another step. (draws more on the board) We’ll zap the cart with my anti-gravity ray. A simple seven-step plan! Henchman 1: Wait-- how are we gonna get the cheese into the truck? (Two-Brains thinks a minute, then works on the board again. When he’s done, there are five separate boards patched together, with elaborate drawings on each.) Dr. Two-Brains: Behold! A simple, simple, simple plan. Hmm... (WordGirl arrives.) WordGirl: Stop right there, Dr. Two-Brains! Dr. Two-Brains: WordGirl! Here to stop my simple plan, eh? (WordGirl walks up to the board.) WordGirl: Huh. That’s simple? Looks pretty complicated to me. (The henchmen move over to a control panel, and press a button. A cage drops onto her.) WordGirl: Hey! Dr. Two-Brains: So long, WordGirl! Come on, boys, we have a stadium full of cheese to steal! Bwa-ha-ha-ha! (WordGirl struggles against the bars.) WordGirl: Huggy! (Huggy, who was hiding on the ceiling, jumps down to the cage.) WordGirl: Okay, this could get a little tricky. Let’s try plan number 47 first, followed by half of 12-- (As she is talking, Huggy notices the keys to the cage sitting on a table. He picks them up and unlocks the door.) WordGirl: (clears her throat) I suppose your way could work too? (grabbing Huggy) Word UP! (Scene: The stadium. Two-Brains and the henchmen are setting up for the cheese heist.) Henchman 1: Okay, boss. All the goblins are in the cart. And the anti-gravity ray is set up. And the blimp is circling overhead. But how do we signal the scuba divers? Dr. Two-Brains: Easy, easy... We’ll-- use the sonic ray gun. Heh-heh. A simple twenty-three step plan! Come on, enough shilly-shallying. Zap the cart, we’re losing time. Distract those guards! (Charlie presses a button on a remote, firing an anti-gravity ray at the shopping cart full of goblins. It floats upward toward the stadium, and goes in front of the guards.) Guard 1: Whoa! Look at that! Guard 2: What are those hideous things? Guard 1: I’m so distracted! (The blimp fires a ray into the stadium. Also on the blimp are two mice wearing scuba gear and sitting on a pair of flippers which has a drill attached to it. They slide off of the blimp into the cheese.) Dr. Two-Brains: It’s working-- up, up-- there, a little to the left-- yes! Success! (A large tube fills with cheese, and starts draining into a tanker truck. Then WordGirl arrives.) WordGirl: Give up now, Two-Brains! Dr. Two-Brains: It’s already done, WordGirl! Everything worked! The trucks are filling up with cheese! Oh, there’s no way you can stop me now! WordGirl: It really worked? Dr. Two-Brains: Yep! Told ya it was a simple plan! WordGirl: Yeah, I guess. Whoops, looks like your truck has a flat tire, there. (They all look at the truck, and she wraps them up in tubing.) WordGirl: You’re right, Dr. Two-Brains! Simple IS better than complicated! (She drops them into the cart filled with goblins.) WordGirl: And thanks for buying all those hideous goblin dolls from me-- mmmy… friend Becky! She really appreciated it. Dr. Two-Brains: Uh-huh… (looks down at the dolls) Eww! WordGirl: Now to go home and wait for my bug bite kit-- um, that my friend Becky is buying for me! Let’s go, Huggy! (She gives the cart a push, then flies off.) Narrator: And so once again, WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face save the day and the city’s cheese! Dr. Two-Brains: Hey, buddy, is there any way you can move these hideous dolls? They’re creeping me out. Narrator: Sorry, no can do. I’m just a voice. Dr. Two-Brains: Aah... (laughs nervously) I've got the willies! (The camera pans out, and we see that the cart is heading toward the jail, where the police and the warden are waiting for them.) Narrator: Join us next time for another exciting and hopefully slightly less complicated adventure of WordGirl! Category:Transcripts Category:Episodes